Cinnamon Coffee Cake Muffins

Print

CINNAMON COFFEE CAKE MUFFINS

Yield: 10 muffins

Printed with permission from Decadent Gluten-Free Vegan Baking by Cara Reed Page Street Publishing (August 5, 2014)

Ingredients

DRY
• 2 c/330 g Cara’s All-Purpose Blend (page 166)
• ½ c/72.5 g unpacked brown sugar
• ¼ c/50 g granulated sugar
• 2 tsp/7.5 g baking powder
• 1 tsp baking soda
• ½ tsp salt
• 1 Tbsp/7 g flaxseed meal
• 1 tsp xanthan gum
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• ¼ tsp nutmeg
WET
• ¾ c/180 ml nondairy milk
• ⅓ c/80 ml oil
• 1 Tbsp/15 ml apple cider vinegar (or lemon juice)
FOR THE STREUSEL TOPPING
• 1 c/165 g Cara’s All-Purpose Flour Blend (page 166)
• ⅓ c/73 g brown sugar, lightly packed
• 2 tsp/5 g cinnamon
• 3 Tbsp/42 g vegan butter
ADD-ON
• ½ batch Royal Icing (page 158)

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350°F/180°C. Lightly grease or line a muffin pan.
2. In a large bowl, whisk together all of the dry ingredients. In a medium bowl, combine the wet ingredients. Make a well in the middle of the dry ingredients and pour the milk mixture in. Stir with a wooden spoon. Pour the batter into the muffin pan. Combine the ingredients for the streusel topping and sprinkle it evenly on the batter.
3. Bake for 22 to 25 minutes or until a knife comes out clean when inserted. Allow to cool slightly before removing from the muffin tins. Cool on a wire rack. Drizzle with half a batch of Royal Icing.

Out to dinner

Tonight we are going out to dinner and the menu is unknown! It wasn't online anywhere and usually I plan what i am going to eat ahead of time...ANXIETY.  But today I just have to wing it!! I know the exchanges I need. I will look at the menu and see what sounds good I guess?

Lake Murray cafe: 

I've decided to order a chicken BBQ sandwich with fruit on the side. Some day I will challenge myself with French fries or onion rings, but eating out is a big deal!

Made it through dinner. Found myself calorie counting kind of obsessively and worrying about the fact that I didn't get the whole wheat bun, but I ate everything and it tasted great! Trying to focus on the fact that my body deserves and needs nourishment.

I hate that doing the right things feels so wrong sometimes.

Your body needs ALL the nutrition

The past few weeks I have been following my meal plan, but as I've said in previous posts, I've been cutting corners. Avoiding butter and dressing, 1/3 cup less of rice... you get the picture. Anyway, I saw my dietician today and my weight was down! I was shocked as I feel I have been eating so much. It just goes to show that my body needs A LOT of energy right now. I need all the food, all the calories, all the fats and carbs and proteins and fruits and veggies and dairies. ALL of it. It's hard for me to grasp. Most people don't need this much food... but I'm not most people. I am me. And this is what my body needs.

So in session I went through my meal plans for the week and added in all the fats and starches I had cut out. My eating disorder voice was SCREAMING at me!!! "No you can't add that in" "You can't go over xxx calories" "You're disgusting!" And you know what? It sucks. But I am choosing to ignore those voices. They are sick, they are wrong, they do NOT know what is best for my body. I know what my body needs and I am going to give it what it needs.

After lunch today I was still hungry. So my dietician gave me a hershey's kiss. And I was STILL hungry. So you know what I did? I walked to starbucks and got a hazelnut latte! And it was delicious. I'll admit I took the longest route to starbucks to walk more, but I had the latte and it tasted great and refreshing. I went for a nice walk this morning as well... and with all this walking you know what it means? I am going to need even MORE nutrition. If I'm burning off all the food I'm eating I am going to need more.

I've also been having really bad urges to binge and purge, and have given in a couple times.... you know what this means? My body is HUNGRY. It is telling me I NEED FOOD NOW. And I listen, but then purge. Which is destructive and not beneficial to my health.

So basically, you need to listen to your dietician if you have one, and listen to your body to get in ALL the nutrition you need. Not skimping here or there... 100%!! This is a hard concept to grasp, but when you are recovering from an eating disorder you need it all. It will keep you healthy, keep you from staying sick. Because, really, who wants to be sick their whole life?? NOT ME! I want to be free!! I want to eat what I want, eventually start dating, get married, have kids, be a social worker... so many things that I will not be able to accomplish if I'm sick or even worse, dead.

So eat. Because you deserve it.

Overreaction

Last night, after I was confronted about making an inappropriate comment, I completely fell apart. I sobbed, banged my head, paces, trying to soothe myself but unable to do so. And now that it is morning and I am looking back at the situation, I blew it WAY out of proportion. What I said was a joke, said in passing, and yet when i was confronted my automatic thought was "I am a horrible person."
Well you know what? I'm not a horrible person. I said something that hurt someone's feelings. People say things to me that hurt my feeling all the time! And do I forgive them? YES. I don't hold grudges. Maybe I will explain that what was said hurt my feelings but I don't hate that person, or never want to talk to them again. So I overreacted. And I feel silly. Now my eyes are swollen and puffy from crying and my head hurts. Silly me.

Today I see my dietician. I get weighed (boo) but I feel ok with it. I am ok with how my body looks right now, and if I'm at my healthy weight then that's great!! I am at my goal weight, and I'm ok with it! This has NEVER happened!! I think it's cause to celebrate. Today I also get to play with kittens, which is lots of fun, and then go out to dinner at a diner. I don't know what's on the menu, so I will decide what I'm eating when I see the menu. Eek!! That's scary, but I can make it work.

How are you today? Do you have any rousing plans??

Feel like a horrible person

I said something tonight that offended one of my housemates. It was a joke, harmless, just a quick remark. But it offended and hurt her. The staff brought it to my attention, and I completely fell apart. I switched into Bee, one of my younger, very depressed parts, and started sobbing on the floor, banging my head against the wall ad floor, crying that I was a horrible person who did no deserve to be alive. I tried to wrap my hands around my neck and strangle myself. My reaction was extreme.
But I feel terrible.... to have said something hurtful.

I feel like I am bad person. Bad to the core. That I am evil, wicked, ruined, despicable. I feel so guilty. I don't think this housemate will ever want to talk to me again - and I don't really want to talk to her. I'm too ashamed.

Am I overreacting? I think so. But my feelings of despair and shame are real to me. I feel truly like a terrible person. I wish I had thought before saying what I did.

Can't find anything positive to say right now. Sometimes I really hate myself.

Reasons not to count calories

I find myself Obsessively counting each calorie throughout the day. Counting and recounting. Rounding up. Cutting little things out of my meal plan to reach a maximum that I'll "allow" myself to eat. It's a waste of time. Major waste! I should be counting my blessings and all the good things in life instead!!

I love this article 

Reasons  NOT to count calories

1) Labels can lie.

Seriously. Labeling laws allow a 20% margin of error on the nutrition facts panel. That means your 100 calorie snack pack could be 119 calories. Or that 500 calorie TV dinner could be nearly 600 calories. Legally. Ooops.

“[T]he ratio between the amount obtained by laboratory analysis and the amount declared on the product label in the Nutrition Facts panel must be 120% or less, i.e., the label is considered to be out of compliance if the nutrient content of a composite of the product is greater than 20% above the value declared on the label.” – FDA Guidance for Industry: Nutrition Labeling Manual

2) Nutrients vary by season, variety, ripeness, etc.

While it’s nice to have the nutrient analysis of foods, there is no way food companies or the USDA could analyze every variety of tomato from every region from every season from different growing conditions (i.e organic vs. conventional) and every other variable for nutrients, including calories. That super sweet summer tomato likely has more calories (and valuable nutrients) than that tasteless, pink one from the dead of winter. Which one would you rather eat?

3) “More calories equals weight gain” is not an exact science.

If calorie counting worked long term, America would be the thinnest country in the world. We are a nation of compulsive dieters and you wouldn’t know it looking at us. Turns out the composition of what you’re eating is crucial to how many calories you eat and how many calories you burn. In a study comparing 3 diets: low fat, low glycemic, and low carb, the people on the low carb diet burned 350 calories more than the low fat diet. And yet, our nutrition guidelines recommend a low calorie, low fat diet. If you’re happy eating tasteless food and going hungry and not losing weight, by all means, count calories and cut fat out of your diet.

4) We don’t absorb all calories.

A study on almond consumption in humans found that up to 20% of the calories were not absorbed. The exact reason is unknown, but possibly due to the “cellular structure” of nuts and the way our bodies digest food. I would speculate that we absorb a lot more calories from highly processed foods. Maybe that’s just me.

5) Focusing on calories often means we restrict healthy foods.

This especially happens when it comes to fats. We often omit higher fat foods simply because they are higher in calories without taking into consideration what benefits we might get from them, such as staying fuller for longer or having smooth skin. I fully ignore calorie labels on all foods, but especially real foods high in fat like cheese, olives, nuts, and seeds. My body likes these foods and I don’t need a calorie count to sway me away from eating them.

6) Too much math.

Honestly, I don’t have time or energy to calculate everything that goes into my mouth. That probably sounds odd, since my life’s work is helping people improve their health by eating better, but I firmly believe this can be done and is best done without counting. (And I have satisfied clients to prove it.) Counting calories is especially fruitless when you know #1-5.

So now you might be wondering:

If I think calorie counting is a such waste of time, what do I do instead?

How do I prevent myself from eating too much?

How do I stay at the same weight, year after year?

My answer is simple.

11 things I do instead of counting calories:

1. I listen to my body.
2. I always eat when I’m hungry.
3. I eat foods that I’m actually in the mood to eat.
4. I put my full attention to the meal in front of me.
5. I notice the sensations in my body before, during, and after eating.
6. I sit down when I eat.
7. I chew every bite before taking another.
8. I savor the flavors, texture, mouthfeel, sounds, richness, crunchiness or softness, saltiness or sweetness.
9. I make an effort to eat healthy foods and make an equal effort to eat the healthy foods that taste good to me.
10. I sometimes choose to eat foods purely for the pleasure of eating them, even when they are not “healthy”.
11. I sometimes choose to eat more food than is comfortable, either because the food tastes really good or because I know I wont have time to eat again for a while (such as during a busy work day).

If this sounds like a breath of fresh air, I’m with you. Just putting this down on paper (or rather, in html) feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Loving your body

Loving your body is hard to do sometimes. For me it's REALLY hard to love my body. I was abused as a young child and taught that my body was unsafe, dirty, disgusting, and just plain bad. I developed my eating disorder out of stress, and out of hatred for my body. I hoped that by changing my body, losing weight, I would be happier somehow. Boy was I wrong.

As I lost weight, I had moments of happiness followed by days and weeks of complete devastation and sorrow. Watching my body waste into bones and skin. My hair falling out. Fainting and passing out. Being dizzy, breaking fingernails, growing a layer of "peach fuzz." At no weight have I been happy with my body. Not at my lowest weight, not at my highest weight. No matter what the scale says, I am unhappy. I've come to accept that. No number will make me happy or satisfied.

I don't love, or even like my body. But I AM grateful for having a body. The body is a wonderful, amazing thing if you think about it. I have my brain, my heart that pumps blood through my body. I have a mouth to smile and talk and laugh, I have eyes to see, and a nose to smell (Hopefully good things :D) I have strong arms and hands that let me write and type and pet my kitty. I have my legs to help me walk, and skip, and dance, and run, and do jumping jacks. I have hair that's curly and makes me feel good. I have curves because some day (far away) I want to have children.

I may feel like I hate my body, but there are SO many things to be grateful for. Ever opening and every function my body has every day is a miracle.

Ways to love your body:

Feed it! Eat what your body needs, listen to your hunger cues, learn to eat intuitively
Wear clothes that make you feel good!
Paint your nails and toes, get a facial or massage (if you feel comfortable with that - I know I don't yet)
Drink lots of water, stay hydrated
Have a treat every so often. If you are craving chocolate, have a piece of chocolate!!
Cuddle with warm blankets. I find this really soothing.
Listen to your favorite music and sing or dance along. I LOVE doing this... mostly when I'm alone in the car :)
Say affirmations. Tell your body that you are grateful it functions, and that you love it no matter what, and that YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH no matter what size, or shape, or height, or weight you are. You are special, you are radiant, you are kind, you are beautiful!!!

Every time you find yourself hating on your body turn the thought around and say two things that are positive. For example: "I am so fat today"
Response: "My body is healthy just how it is." "I can learn to embrace and love this new body that does so much for me!"

How do YOU love your body?