Showing posts with label calorie counting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label calorie counting. Show all posts

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Picking food for taste

 Something that is a bad habit and pattern of mine is picking foods based on the calorie count instead of how they may taste. I know the calorie count to pretty much every food which makes It really hard to ignore the nutrition information. For example, I really want a pumpkin spice latte but haven't gotten one because I feel I don't deserve the extra calories. Over the years I have convinced myself that carrots are my favorite food. Really?? Carrots?? I so do not think carrots are my favorited food but I've somehow convinced myself otherwise. When I go out to dinner I always check calorie counts on line before I go to find the meals with the fewest calories. On Friday we went out to dinner. I really wanted pancakes but looking at the counts freaked me out and I ordered a boring grilled fish and baked potato.

I realize I am missing out on a lot of food opportunities. No salad dressing. No butter. No pumpkin spice: I'm missing out!! Really! If I was able to pick foods based on taste rather than calorie counts of be so much happier. And I wouldn't get massive cravings and then binge on foods I don't "allow" myself to eat.

I guess a big part of me feels I don't deserve food that tastes good. But that's silly! Everyone deserves good food and if it tastes good that's even better!! Maybe I WILL get that pumpkin spice latte. Or frozen yogurt for snack. Why?? Because I deserve it. I don't need to restrict to keep my weight down. I deserve good food.

YOU deserve food that tastes good! Today pick a food you wouldn't normally allow yourself and enjoy it. Because you DESERVE IT!! If you want ice cream, eat that ice cream. If you want a salad enjoy it with dressing! Have fun and enjoy. we can do this together!


Saturday, October 4, 2014

Today

Part of me feels weird about being with my family… like I don't deserve them. Like I don't deserve to have a happy family. I was destined to be alone at 16 and here I am spending time wiht my family and we are HAPPY. And it's so weird… good weird I guess. But weird. My dad wants to hug me and tells me how happy he is that I'm home. I can actually talk to my mom about some "real" things without getting shut down or lectured. It's all very foreign and strange. But I think this is a good thing. Everyone deserves to have a family who loves them right? Humans need love to survive. They need to be attached and know they are loved to thrive, and that's what I'm doing. I'm finally thriving. And I think a big part of that has been my own progress, but it's also been the progress with my family. I am not alone anymore. I'm not fighting an uphill battle by myself. I have people on my team. People to tell me they love me and care about me and that they actually believe in me… again all so weird. But nice. Finally I have a reason to wake up in the morning… I have people who care.

Today was a nice day. Got to stay in my pajamas for a little while this morning because I didn't go to petco. I watched some shows, worked a little on a needlepoint project. Then my mom picked me up to go to temple. First I went to a "young person's" meeting for people in their 20's and 30s, and it was very moving. Nice sermon, good prayers. Had lunch. And then went to another service, a contemporary service with folk songs and lots of lovely readings. Very moving service. Really targeted all of the things that have gone on this year and all the things we can do better. We went to a later service as well and ended the day with a "break the fast" at a friend's house. Overall a good day.

I was a little upset, I'll admit, about the fact that my sister and my dad fasted. My dad had said he wasn't going to fast, but he did. I guess it's ok though. They are healthy enough to fast for a day. I am not. Maybe some day I will be able to fast again, when it doesn't fuel my eating disorder. For me fasting would be a sick behavior, and sick behavior is NOT appropriate on a day of atonement.

Today was my first day of no measuring food and no calorie counting… I think it went ok. I didn't measure breakfast, lunch, or dinner. I may be short a little but I'm eating intuitively and that feels REALLY good. I'm finally eating more normally. Finally.

I hope that you all had a lovely day and that you have a peaceful night.
I'm off to eat snack :)

Friday, October 3, 2014

Feeling good about being healthy

I just had a meeting with my dietician, and it was a good meeting. Yes there were tears, but it ended well! I was weighed, and my dietician informed me that she can now lower my meal plan and increase my activity. I was excited and devastated all at once. Does lowering my meal plan mean my weight has skyrocketed?? Am I too heavy?? My dietician assured me that is NOT the case. That it's time for me to have my meal plan lowered to catch up with my recovery. This makes sense… and I haven;t been meeting my whole meal plan anyway. This won't make much of a difference, but it IS a decrease, which is good. My dietician won't let me get too heavy and that is good.

Then we ate ice cream. Which tasted awesome! Mud pie (coffee ice cream with cookie crumbles). So delicious. I didn't even measure it and I was able to enjoy the treat! It tasted really good and I focused on that, not the calories, not that it's "bad." It's food that tastes yummy and that's ok! Healthy people are allowed to eat ice cream too. I am allowed to eat food that tastes good.

Then at the end of our meeting I made a decision. I asked my dietician if I could stop measuring my food. For the past several years I have used measuring cups and spoons with ALL of my food… rice, pasta, milk, peanut butter, cereal… you name it I measure it. Pretty obsessive right? But it's what I'm used to. So I made a decision. For this week I am NOT going to measure my food. I can eyeball how much I need. I can eat without measuring. SUPER nervous and scared but ready. I want to be a normal eater. I'm sick of measuring all my food. It's time.

AND. And I'm going to stop counting calories once and for all… not measuring my food will help me because I will not be able to exactly count all the calories. This is a huge step. I can do this. Progress!!!!

I feel good about the progress I've made. I can be PROUD that I am healthy. I am a fighter!! YOU Can do this too!! Take a leap of faith. Healthy is GOOD.

Saturday, August 16, 2014

STILL not enough!

So... I calculated my calories for the day. I'm trying to stray away from counting as it makes me obsessive; but I calculated them. And I was shocked to find I am WAY under what I need to be eating! And I'm following my meal plan! I was eating enough before... why am I under cutting so badly?? Today to get enough calories I will have to add an ensure plus, which I really don't want to do. I got frozen yogurt for my snack tonight, and I plan to add almonds and a banana, but my counts are still too low :( Just feeling really frustrated.... my brain is sub-consciously under cutting the amount of calories that I'm eating.

I need to just eat. Not count. Not skip salad dressing. Have the entire cup of soy milk. I need to get more food in, especially since I am walking more... but I guess I'm kind of stuck. I KNOW how to gain weight. I really do. I just need to do it. Just do it.

Today I feel like my stomach is really bloated. I don't know why.. but I'm hoping I will wake up feeling better. I will eat my snack, and go to bed, and it will be a new day. Another chance.

Have a good night :)

Friday, August 15, 2014

A calorie is a calorie

I went to an eating disorder treatment center where the meal plan was all about counting calories.... and it wasn't the healthiest way of eating. We ate only processed foods that had calorie counts on them to make sure the calorie counts were "accurate." Even 5 calories short of our meal plan goal we had to add a mini pretzel or saltine cracker... yes one pretzel! Crazy right? Right.

But I did learn a lot at that program about calories and food and how to look at food realistically. Food has different nutrients.... and that is important. But when it comes to eating and gaining weight, the truth is a calorie is a calorie. It doesn't matter if you eat 100 calories in carrots or 100 calories in cookies, it is still 100 calories. You can get your hundred calories and be super full and uncomfortable and gassy, or you can eat a small cookie and get the same nutrition count. A calorie is a calorie is a calorie.

Another thing I learned is diet food is stupid!!! REALLY stupid! First of all, diet food just isn't satisfying. For example: two women go to a restaurant and order dessert. woman #1 orders a weight watchers little dessert, trying to be "good" and "healthy." The other woman orders a slice of cheese cake, eats it, and feels satisfied. Well woman #1 is unsatisfied with her dessert and gets hungry an hour after she's eaten. Woman #2 is satisfied and stays full until her next snack/dinner. The woman who ordered the cheese cake actually made a better choice for her body! Sounds crazy right? And also, diet foods have extra sugar and salt and other crud to add flavor. Moral of the story: choose the real food! It tastes better and it's better for you.




Basically, eat what you are hungry for, and eat what makes you feel good. Your body will do what it needs to balance everything out and make up for "extra." Eating is a normal, healthy thing to do. Bodies need food to survive!!! Food is good. Food is food. A calorie is a calorie. Eat and feel good!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Just haven't had enough today

I started off my day without counting calories... but I had a slip up and after that I was worried about the calories I needed to make up, and I calculated what I'd eaten on my phone. And it was NOT enough. I have NOT eaten enough today!! I am supposed to be putting on a little more weight and with the number of calories I'm eating now that is not going to happen.
I'm torn. Part of me says "Great job! You're doing the right thing" the other part of me says "What is wrong with you?? Stupid!!!" and I don't know what to believe.

So I have a few options... a) eat my night snack and go to bed. b) eat my night snack and add an ensure plus to make up for what I've missed today c) Add something extra to my snack d) give up and just go to bed

I am not going to give up. And I will most certainly eat my night snack. But I am battling with myself about whether I should add something extra. My body probably needs it. My mind probably needs it. I need it to be healthy.

I hate my brain sometimes!!! It just makes no sense! I need to do what's healthy for my body. End of story.

Night snack: Toast with banana and nutella, and a soy milk latte.

What are you eating right now?

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Day 2

Today will be day 2 of no calorie counting and I will admit I'm quite anxious about it. Calorie counting is a safety net for me and now I don't have that anymore. But it isn't healthy and not worth my time and energy. So I'm not counting. I plan to get back on track today after a bit of a slip yesterday. Part of me says "count, you need to know." The other part of me knows that just isn't healthy. So I'm not counting. 

Today I am going on an outing to a mall with my house. It's usually pretty boring. We walk around look at shops and then have a picnic lunch. I am not really looking forward to it.. I'd much rather go for a walk by the lake and relax. But I will try to have a good time. I'm trying really hard to get along with my housemates. I'm being super friendly and kind, and I guess I'm kind of sucking up. But it won't be long until I move to independent housing. I'm sure even in independent living I will have trouble with my housemates! So it's something I'm getting used to. I just dislike drama and not getting along with people.

Anyway, it's a new day and I'm glad. How are you spending your day?

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Need permission to eat

I need permission to eat. 

I have not eaten enough today and I walked over 2 hours, and now I am HUNGRY. I want to eat chocolate and candy and fruit and bread and vegetables and ice cream and cake and cookies..... I could eat ALL of that right now. 
So why don't I get up and eat something? Because I'm afraid that if I start I won't be able to stop. I will eat and eat and eat and break my no-purging record. I can't do that. I had one square of chocolate extra and I already feel kind of bad, I know it's crazy, but I feel bad. 

WHAT is wrong with my brain?? Clearly my body is hungry, I need food, and I am sitting here chewing gum and drinking tea and depriving myself. It makes me sad. It makes me really really sad that I can't just take care of my body the way it needs to be taken care of. I'm thinking yes, I'm probably physically hungry. I also thing I'm bionic woman, I don't need to eat to survive. Hah. 

I emailed my dietician, asking her for permission to eat. Maybe if she responds and tells me that eating is the right thing to do, I can do it. 
I will certainly eat my night snack, it's just a matter of probably needing more than just that. 
Maybe I can give myself permission to eat.

You deserve to eat. 
Animals deserve to eat, kids deserve to eat, people deserve to eat, YOU deserve to eat and feel satiated. One snack is not going to affect your weight. You deserve to eat. 

You deserve to eat.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Reasons not to count calories

I find myself Obsessively counting each calorie throughout the day. Counting and recounting. Rounding up. Cutting little things out of my meal plan to reach a maximum that I'll "allow" myself to eat. It's a waste of time. Major waste! I should be counting my blessings and all the good things in life instead!!

I love this article 

Reasons  NOT to count calories

1) Labels can lie.

Seriously. Labeling laws allow a 20% margin of error on the nutrition facts panel. That means your 100 calorie snack pack could be 119 calories. Or that 500 calorie TV dinner could be nearly 600 calories. Legally. Ooops.

“[T]he ratio between the amount obtained by laboratory analysis and the amount declared on the product label in the Nutrition Facts panel must be 120% or less, i.e., the label is considered to be out of compliance if the nutrient content of a composite of the product is greater than 20% above the value declared on the label.” – FDA Guidance for Industry: Nutrition Labeling Manual

2) Nutrients vary by season, variety, ripeness, etc.

While it’s nice to have the nutrient analysis of foods, there is no way food companies or the USDA could analyze every variety of tomato from every region from every season from different growing conditions (i.e organic vs. conventional) and every other variable for nutrients, including calories. That super sweet summer tomato likely has more calories (and valuable nutrients) than that tasteless, pink one from the dead of winter. Which one would you rather eat?

3) “More calories equals weight gain” is not an exact science.

If calorie counting worked long term, America would be the thinnest country in the world. We are a nation of compulsive dieters and you wouldn’t know it looking at us. Turns out the composition of what you’re eating is crucial to how many calories you eat and how many calories you burn. In a study comparing 3 diets: low fat, low glycemic, and low carb, the people on the low carb diet burned 350 calories more than the low fat diet. And yet, our nutrition guidelines recommend a low calorie, low fat diet. If you’re happy eating tasteless food and going hungry and not losing weight, by all means, count calories and cut fat out of your diet.

4) We don’t absorb all calories.

A study on almond consumption in humans found that up to 20% of the calories were not absorbed. The exact reason is unknown, but possibly due to the “cellular structure” of nuts and the way our bodies digest food. I would speculate that we absorb a lot more calories from highly processed foods. Maybe that’s just me.

5) Focusing on calories often means we restrict healthy foods.

This especially happens when it comes to fats. We often omit higher fat foods simply because they are higher in calories without taking into consideration what benefits we might get from them, such as staying fuller for longer or having smooth skin. I fully ignore calorie labels on all foods, but especially real foods high in fat like cheese, olives, nuts, and seeds. My body likes these foods and I don’t need a calorie count to sway me away from eating them.

6) Too much math.

Honestly, I don’t have time or energy to calculate everything that goes into my mouth. That probably sounds odd, since my life’s work is helping people improve their health by eating better, but I firmly believe this can be done and is best done without counting. (And I have satisfied clients to prove it.) Counting calories is especially fruitless when you know #1-5.

So now you might be wondering:

If I think calorie counting is a such waste of time, what do I do instead?

How do I prevent myself from eating too much?

How do I stay at the same weight, year after year?

My answer is simple.

11 things I do instead of counting calories:

  1. I listen to my body.
  2. I always eat when I’m hungry.
  3. I eat foods that I’m actually in the mood to eat.
  4. I put my full attention to the meal in front of me.
  5. I notice the sensations in my body before, during, and after eating.
  6. I sit down when I eat.
  7. I chew every bite before taking another.
  8. I savor the flavors, texture, mouthfeel, sounds, richness, crunchiness or softness, saltiness or sweetness.
  9. I make an effort to eat healthy foods and make an equal effort to eat the healthy foods that taste good to me.
  10. I sometimes choose to eat foods purely for the pleasure of eating them, even when they are not “healthy”.
  11. I sometimes choose to eat more food than is comfortable, either because the food tastes really good or because I know I wont have time to eat again for a while (such as during a busy work day).

If this sounds like a breath of fresh air, I’m with you. Just putting this down on paper (or rather, in html) feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.


Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Obsessive calorie counting

While I've been doing really well the past few weeks, I've fallen into an old pattern... Obsessive calorie counting. Argh!! What a waste of time?? Because really, are the calories important? No! I have my meal plan that is meant for me to be healthy and that's all that matters. But for some reason I find myself daily putting in my food to my fitness pal, and adding and subtracting little things through the day... I'll admit since I found out I'm at my goal weight I've been cutting some corners with my meal plan, feeling like I don't deserve so much food. It started a few weeks ago, I was just curious as to how much I was actually eating and that was a bad idea because now I'm certainly feeling obsessive.... Stupid eating disorder.

So steps to stop calorie counting. I really want to try and have a healthier mind set about food... I also find myself logging my exercise to "erase" the calories I've eaten. Not healthy!! Ok. Steps.

1. Erase My Fitness Pal!! This app NEEDS to go. I do not need to be on a diet website or app. End of story.

2. Stop using my calculator on my phone to count calories. Unfortunately I know the calorie counts to pretty much every food :( some day I will see food as just food and not a number. Big goal! And it will be a big sign that I'm truly in recovery.

3. Eat what feels right (and follow my meal plan) but if I'm hungry, grab some extra veggies or a piece of fruit or even a treat like chocolate or candy :) I deserve it! 

I will be healthy some day. Free of calories and counting and calculating and being miserable with food. Some day we can ALL be healthy. End of story!








Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Stop calorie counting!

So I found myself looking at my meal plan for the day and calculating the calorie counts  on my phone. And then found myself short of breath, panicking about the number. It's a A LOT higher than  comfortable with. I do this all the time... Make myself panic over something that really isn't important.
Why do I make myself miserable?
Cause really, what is a calorie?

It's the energy needed to raise the temperature of 1 gram of water through 1 °C (now usually defined as 4.1868 joules)

So why are we obsessively counting units of energy?? It's silly.

Reasons not to count calories:
- labels aren't 100% accurate anyway!
- there's no way to count the exact 
calories in a food as it changes with ripeness, season, etc
- not all calories are absorbed in the body
- waste of time!
- makes healthy foods seem "bad" because they are high calorie - we forget they are great for the body and full of nutrients!

Things to do instead of counting calories:

- listen to your body's hunger signals. Eat until you are satisfied
- eat foods that taste good!
- focus on your meal in front of you, stay In the moment
- eat slowly and enjoy your food
- eat everything in moderation
- focus on tastes and textures that you enjoy
- choose healthy nutrient rich foods and treat yourself to something "unhealthy" when you want it!
- follow your meal plan, use the exchange system if you need

Things to count instead of calories:
- the people who love you
- your blessings
- the hours to something exciting

NEVER STOP FIGHTING!!!