Uncertainty

The thing about eating intuitively is that there is some uncertainty… not knowing exactly what I've eaten today, or knowing the exchanges I've covered, is pretty scary. But I'm doing it. I'm eating, I'm not counting, I am listening to my body and deciding what to eat based on what tastes good and what I'm craving. I am starting to trust my body. I trust that even if I eat a little more than I need, or even if I eat a little less, my body will even everything out .Eating isn't perfect, it isn't a science, it's natural and changing. I can trust my body knows what to do.

I guess I have a fear… what if my intuitive eating means I'm eating too much? Will my dietician tell me to eat less? She told me she wanted me to have fuller, less "diet like" meals. I was eating very bare bones meals of sandwiches with no spreads or toppings and fruits and vegetables. I've been trying to change that and eat real, substantial meals. For lunch I had a sandwich, but I added avocado. That is more normal than eating just a plain sandwich. It is OK to enjoy your food. I am learning how to enjoy food. Even when I'm not really hungry I know I need to eat, and if I'm going to eat I might as well eat food that tastes good! I never used to want to admit that I liked the taste of food.. but I'll admit is now! I love chocolate and ice cream and sweets. I like some fried foods. I like some candy. And that is ok.

Food today so far:
Breakfast: Blueberry, mango, raspberry bran muffin, Greek yogurt with blueberries, raspberries, and pumpkin seeds, coffee with lots of soy milk

Snack: Strawberries and cream oatmeal with raspberries

Lunch: Avocado and veggie sandwich, a pear, and a handful of carrots

Snack: Homemade chai tea latte and an apple

I'm not counting so I don't know how many calories I've had. I'm hoping it's enough. Tonight at dinner my housemate is making chicken so I will have a vegetarian Chik patty, and I will eat rice or pasta or whatever he makes and veggies. I have been avoiding starches at dinner, but I know I need a complete, balanced meal. So I will eat the pasta or rice and be ok with it. I don't know why I have this fear of carbs, but it needs to stop and the only way to overcome the fear is to face it head on. So that's what I'm doing.

I am eating intuitively, I am doing it!! After 5 years of meal planning I am doing this. I feel strong and confident in my ability to just eat, even though my hunger signals are still out of whack. But I am conquering!!

If I can do it so can you. Go recovery!!!!

My day

Today has been a pretty decent day. Went to school this morning, sat through a pretty interesting class about infants and toddlers, waited at school for the bus. Got home, had lunch and then off to groups. First I had nutrition group. I really like nutrition group. It's a positive environment, the people in the group and supportive, and my dietician who runs the group is really awesome. She keeps everyone positive, discourages talk about weight loss and "bad" or "junk" foods. She keeps everyone in a positive mood, even if we are struggling. It really is a nice experience being in this group.

Second group is called "roles and relationships" which is the kind of group where I don't know what the point is. Right now we have been separated into groups and have been assigned research projects… mine is about the life cycle of three kinds of birds. The other groups have "stigma" and "how to build a bridge" random right? Yes. Random. I'm sure there must be a purpose for doing these projects, I just don't know what it is.

Third group was process group. This group usually sucks. It's a bunch of quiet people who don't have anything to say and we just stare at each other in silence for most of the group. Today people were actually talking, which was nice, and the group went by much faster. But usually it's pretty torturous.

Food has gone better today. Haven't eaten 100% but I've stayed mostly on track.
Breakfast: Chia pudding with granola and blueberries
Snack: all bran cereal, string cheese, raisins
Lunch: Minestrone soup, salad with tofu, peach, carrots, and balsamic
Snack: Frosted flakes cereal, string cheese, apple
Dinner: Veggie stew, salad
Snack: English muffin with peanut butter, strawberries, hot chocolate

Until tomorrow.

Food Diary

Breakfast: Granola cereal with blueberries

Snack: Nature valley bar and string cheese

Lunch: Salad with tofu, peach, tomato, and carrots with balsamic vinaigrette
AND: mud pie ice cream

Snack: Fiber cereal, blueberries, apple, soy latte

Dinner: Vegetable noodle soup

Snack: English muffin with peanut butter, peach, strawberries, and warm soy milk

Food diary

I don't know what to write... so I'll give you my day in food.

Breakfast: Greek yogurt with strawberries and blueberries, cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese, coffee with soy milk

Snack: All bran cereal, peach, string cheese

Lunch: Subway chicken sandwich, apple slices, lemonade

Snack: Iced latte

Dinner: Turkey chili, brown rice, steamed carrots

Snack: TBD... I had planned oatmeal but it's so hot I'm thinking I want something else. Maybe waffles? I'll have to decide :)

What did you eat today?

Food from today

Food for today...

Breakfast: 2 frozen waffles with syrup, veggie sausage, a plum, and coffee with soy milk

Snack: Nutrigrain bar and string cheese

Lunch: Veggie burger on a bun, carrots, and lots of watermelon, honeydew, and strawberries

Snack: More watermelon and fiber cereal

Dinner: Spinach salad with strawberries, feta cheese, and almonds, two slices of toast, and a bowl of cooked carrots

Snack: Toast with sunflower butter and banana, and warm almond milk

What did you eat today?

Food today

Breakfast: Oatmeal made with soy milk, almonds, and a plum

Snack: Fiber one cereal, string cheese, 1/2 banana

Lunch: Pita pizza with onions and peppers, and spinach salad with tomatoes

Snack: Special K cereal, almonds, dried cranberries, and string cheese

Dinner: Spaghetti with turkey meat balls and roasted broccoli

Snack: Toast with almond butter, banana, and warm soy milk

My food today

Here's my food from today:

Breakfast: chia pudding ( to start) english muffin sandwich with egg and turkey bacon, grapes, and coffee with lots of soy milk

Snack: fiber one cereal, string cheese, 1/2 banana

Lunch: Turkey meatball sandwich with marinara and carrots, and 1/2 banana

Snack: Pretzels, cranberries, almonds, and string cheese

Dinner: Sweet and sour chicken with rice and broccoli

Snack: Oatmeal with banana and almond butter, made with soy milk

What did you eat today?

Meals today

Breakfast: Cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese, turkey bacon, and blueberries, and a soy latte

 Snack: Raisin bran and string cheese

 Lunch: red curry with tofu. DELICIOUS

 Snack: Banana muffin, apple, and string cheese

Dinner: BBQ chicken, corn on the cob, peas

 Snack: the usual :) PB banana, honey sandwich and a tea latte

Wholesome, healthy food. And tasty! I'd call that a success :)

What did YOU eat today?

Meals today

Breakfast: Oatmeal with banana, almonds, toast with cream cheese, cinnamon, and sugar

Snack: Fiber cereal, raisins, string cheese

Lunch: Turkey sub sandwich, carrots, apple slices

Snack: Apple, pretzels, string cheese, almonds

Dinner: Cheesy pasta with asparagus and broccoli

Snack: PB banana sandwich with honey and a tea latte :)

What did you eat today?

Dinner and good news!!

I am FINALLY feeling better. I have eaten everything today with no bloating, no gagging, very insignificant stomach aches. I am so relieved!!! The past few weeks have been HELL with eating. Trying to choke down everything, feeling like I can't eat anymore... my body is adjusting. I have gotten through one of the hardest steps in refeeding. I feel like I can breathe, I am so grateful that my body is getting the message that I will be feeding it and keeping the food down and that it doesn't have to go into danger mode!!
I knew my hard work would pay off... and it is finally paying off.
Sigh of relief!!

Dinner was yummy tonight. Fish tacos with black beans and I made roasted brussels sprouts. They really are tasty when they are roasted! Planning to have my favorite night time treat, pb banana and hot coco, and then I will have made it through a successful day :)

NEVER GIVE UP!!!

Meal plan from today

Breakfast: waffles, veggie sausages, blueberries (I know I should put something on my waffles.... working on it)

Snack: nutrigrain bar, string cheese

Lunch: Egg salad sandwich (made with mustard, I cheated), carrots with hummus, strawberries, and slurpee as my special "challenge" food with my dietician

Snack: apple, string cheese, almonds, and wheat thins

Dinner: Tofu stir fry with brown rice, soy cafe au lait (mmm)

Snack: The usual :) pb banana sandwich and hot coco

Today's meal plan

Breakfast: oatmeal with almond butter, almonds, strawberries, and soy milk

Snack: Cheerios, raisins, string cheese
Lunch: Pita pizza, salad with raisins

Snack: wheat thins, almonds, raisins, and string cheese (There was no fruit left in the house lol, so I had to make do with raisins. We went grocery shopping today, though, so there's a lot of fruit now.)

Dinner: One of my housemates made a chicken broccoli casserole. I don't like casseroles in general, and my stomach was just churning. So I drank 2 ensures. 

Snack: pb banana :) mmmmmm and hot coco

Today's meal plan

Just recovered from a huge meltdown after dinner... I was so full and uncomfortable I just found myself sobbing in a pile on the floor. Embarrassing. But I'm feeling better now. This stomach pain needs to go away! 

Here's all the stuff I kept down today!

Breakfast: 1/2 bagel with strawberry cream cheese, egg, veggie sausage, strawberries, and a soy latte

Snack: bran flakes, banana, soy milk

Lunch: Turkey sub sandwich, carrots, and strawberries

Snack: Pretzels, apple, string cheese, almonds

Dinner: Chicken tacos, refried beans, green beans

Snack: Almond butter banana sandwich, soy hot chocolate :) My favorite!

Nutritious, healthy food for the body. 

Wish I could enjoy it more. 

What I ate today

Today has been a successful, although uncomfortable, day.
I've eaten all good, healthy foods, good for my body. Nothing to be ashamed of (although I'm feeling pretty ashamed).

Breakfast: Greek yogurt with berries and almonds, bran muffin, coffee with soy milk

Snack: Bran flakes, half banana, string cheese

Lunch: Turkey and cheese sandwich, carrots, nutrigrain bar

Snack: Honey pretzels, apple, string cheese

Dinner: Turkey burger and zuchinni

Snack: Peanut butter banana sandwich (yum) and apple cinnamon tea

Fought through dinner

It was hard but I fought through dinner and made it through behavior free! I don't know if it feels good but I'm certainly proud of myself. Just have to get through snack now... And I'm done for the day. I'll wake up feeling light and refreshed and ready to start another day.
Here's what I ate today!

Breakfast: home made French toast, veggie sausage and fruit salad


Snack: bran flakes, fruit salad, string cheese




Lunch: grilled cheese and tomato soup and a nectarine

Snack: frappucino! Yum!




Dinner: spaghetti and turkey meatballs and lots of broccoli

Snack: oatmeal with soy milk, almond butter and banana

Healthy, balanced, wholesome foods. I think I can feel good about that.

Until tomorrow!

Day one on the right track

Well it's day one of being in "healthy mode" of taking care of my body. And except for a little blip in the morning, it's been a successful day. Feeling pretty uncomfortable but determined to end the day strong.
Eating has been really really hard. After lunch I had a panic attack and kind of fell apart, but curled up on the couch and fell asleep and woke up feeling a bit better. I am powering through, no matter how hard it is. No hospital for us!!
Here's what I ate today. It's a bit overwhelming to look at, but it's what I need right now.

Breakfast: Oatmeal, sun butter, almonds, raisins, soy milk

Snack: Bran flakes, string cheese, raisins

Lunch: Pita pizza with peppers and turkey, pretzels, juice, spinach salad

Snack: Graham crackers, soy tea latte, raisins, almonds

Dinner: Fettucine Alfredo with chicken and peas

Snack: PB banana sandwich and hot coco :)

So it's a lot of food - but I'm trying to tell myself it's yummy and good for the body.
Trying to stay positive!!!
Everyone out there who's fighting, don't give up!!