Your body needs ALL the nutrition

The past few weeks I have been following my meal plan, but as I've said in previous posts, I've been cutting corners. Avoiding butter and dressing, 1/3 cup less of rice... you get the picture. Anyway, I saw my dietician today and my weight was down! I was shocked as I feel I have been eating so much. It just goes to show that my body needs A LOT of energy right now. I need all the food, all the calories, all the fats and carbs and proteins and fruits and veggies and dairies. ALL of it. It's hard for me to grasp. Most people don't need this much food... but I'm not most people. I am me. And this is what my body needs.

So in session I went through my meal plans for the week and added in all the fats and starches I had cut out. My eating disorder voice was SCREAMING at me!!! "No you can't add that in" "You can't go over xxx calories" "You're disgusting!" And you know what? It sucks. But I am choosing to ignore those voices. They are sick, they are wrong, they do NOT know what is best for my body. I know what my body needs and I am going to give it what it needs.

After lunch today I was still hungry. So my dietician gave me a hershey's kiss. And I was STILL hungry. So you know what I did? I walked to starbucks and got a hazelnut latte! And it was delicious. I'll admit I took the longest route to starbucks to walk more, but I had the latte and it tasted great and refreshing. I went for a nice walk this morning as well... and with all this walking you know what it means? I am going to need even MORE nutrition. If I'm burning off all the food I'm eating I am going to need more.

I've also been having really bad urges to binge and purge, and have given in a couple times.... you know what this means? My body is HUNGRY. It is telling me I NEED FOOD NOW. And I listen, but then purge. Which is destructive and not beneficial to my health.

So basically, you need to listen to your dietician if you have one, and listen to your body to get in ALL the nutrition you need. Not skimping here or there... 100%!! This is a hard concept to grasp, but when you are recovering from an eating disorder you need it all. It will keep you healthy, keep you from staying sick. Because, really, who wants to be sick their whole life?? NOT ME! I want to be free!! I want to eat what I want, eventually start dating, get married, have kids, be a social worker... so many things that I will not be able to accomplish if I'm sick or even worse, dead.

So eat. Because you deserve it.