Therapy is hard

Therapy is hard. Especially good therapy. My therapist asks the hard questions... But she does it because she cares and because she wants to push me, she wants to see me be successful.

I'm taking ownership for my actions. Not blaming my emotions and behaviors on different parts - actually taking my own accountability. I am an imperfect human being who has been less than compassionate to my other parts, and I need to make amends. I need to tell my parts I'm sorry for blaming them for all my troubles. It's time for me to admit I am a flawed person who has made mistakes. I have tried to adapt and protect myself and it's been a hard process.

It's time for me to find myself and accept that I will always have parts no matter how much I sometimes wish they weren't there. And I as Abbi have feelings and emotions and get scared and confused and overwhelmed and make poor decisions. All of this is hard to admit and hard to grasp. But it's part of the healing process.

My therapist is tough, but so caring. She calls me "kiddo" and tells me she's proud of all the hard work we are doing. I start to cry and she hands me the box of tissues. She asks where I am, what I'm thinking, asks me to be vulnerable and exposed. She pushes all my buttons, knows what I'm thinking.... and it's uncomfortable. But I need this.

I'm rambling. I guess I'm just trying to say therapy is hard but worth it. Changing for the better.