Taking up space

I'm really struggling with the weight I've gained. None of my clothes look right (Even though now they technically fit), I feel kind of bloated and puffy and all together large and very uncomfortable.
Here at Hanbleceya they use the term "taking space" a lot for people who want to talk and share about how they are doing, and they also use the phrase "are you in a good/bad/ok space to talk/deal with this problem?"

I've been thinking a lot about how I never want to take space when they ask me, and the idea overall that I just don't want to take up space. Ever since I was little I was told to be polite, to not interrupt, to be quiet, to not take peoples' attention, and that's how I still am. I'm afraid to take space from people's lives, I feel unimportant. I feel like a waste of time. I feel stupid and worthless so much of the time. And I guess I take out these feelings on my body. I don't want to take up physical space either. I want my body to be as small and unnoticeable as possible, although in honesty when I get really thin, people notice. It's scary to see someone who has anorexia, and it is definitely something that brings attention to you. My weight has gotten to a point where it's obvious that I'm sick. Of course I never see it, but it's noticeable.

I guess what I'm trying to believe is that I DO deserve to take up space in the world. I am a person, I have as much value as anyone else.
YOU have value. YOU matter. We all matter.

Today I am going to be kind to my body... feed it and nurture it and be gentle.
Peace.