Today is just one of those days where I am NOT happy with my body. I feel that my stomach is sticking out, I'm kind of bloated, and my legs feel kind of puffy.... but you know what? I think this is normal. Everybody has days where they aren't happy with how they look and that is OK.
So what am I doing about this? I could mope around hide.... I could wear baggy sweats and hide my body. But I am using a therapy skill and doing the OPPOSITE of that. I am wearing workout shorts and my favorite workout top, which show my body, and I'm ok with it. I've taken some pictures of myself to try and get some perspective about how I actually look as the mirror can be deceiving... and I've put on some make up to boost my confidence. I am doing the opposite of what I would instinctually do, and it feels uncomfortable... but I'm doing ok. And I'm eating. I have eaten everything my body needs today, so far at least. I am doing everything right. Trying SO incredibly hard to stay on this good path, no matter how hard things get. Because maybe when I look in the mirror again later I will feel ok with how I look. Most likely that will be the case, these feelings of negativity will pass.
I've walked quite a bit today, which feels really good as well. I walked by the lake this morning, and then walked a short while again by the lake with my rabbi (which went really well) and then walked to the store, and then walked to Chipotle to get lunch and back. And I am going to go back to Starbucks for a drink with my treat receipt from earlier :) Cheap coffee, I can't resist!
It's gloomy and kind of rainy today, and there's been some random thunder... but rain is good, we need rain!
Just reminding myself that these uncomfortable feelings are normal and will pass, and that I don't have to do anything destructive to make them go away. I can sit with it and live my life.
Pushing through.
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