Long day and 2015 goals

Today has been a very long day.. to school to take the final, and then back for a short while, and then groups ALLLL day. Mondays are really tiring. Luckily I have a few weeks off school to rest on Monday mornings, so it won't be as hectic. That's nice. I also made dinner tonight… a vegetable loaded pasta bake. It's a new recipe so I will let you know how it goes… it should be good though. Pasta, cheese sauce and lots of veggies. Sounds good. We shall see. Also having garlic bread and salad. Hopefully it turns out well!!

I had nutrition group today and I was able to share my success with no meal planning. We also did a project of goals for 2015.

Goals for 2015:

1. Be KIND to my body
2. Listen to my hunger and eat what feels right
3. Exercise in moderation
4. Tell myself I'm OK the way I am
5. Eat intuitively and freely
6. Tell myself positive things about my body
7. To have no behaviors and treat my body with respect
8. To be gentle if I am imperfect

What are your goals for the new year?

Done with school!!

I am officially done with school!!! Took my exam this morning and I'm finished until January 26th :) feels great to be done. Although I like school and I will miss the learning. I think my final went well. I was confident with most of the questions. Some of them were challenging but I think I did ok! 

Breakfast this morning was super yummy. English muffin with pumpkin spice cream cheese, greek yogurt with berries, and coffee with lots of soy milk. One of my favorite breakfasts. I love the sweet cream cheeses.... Pumpkin, strawberry, honey nut... All really tasty. They are especially good on cinnamon toast or cinnamon raisin bagels. Yummy.

So what am I going to do while school is out?? Well Monday's I am going to rest an little! Being able to sleep a bit will be nice. And I am going to pick up another shift at petco on Wednesdays. And lots of groups. We will have lots of Christmassy events going on to stay busy, and I get to celebrate my birthday!! Lots of good things happening :) exciting!!! 

Have a lovely Monday!

Successful day

Today has been a good day. I feel like I was successful with eating and with everything else. I've been studying up a storm for my final tomorrow and I think I'm ready for it. I'm quite full with tea right now, but in a little while I will have my snack… I'm thinking egg white oatmeal with banana. I'm feeling very "snacky" at the moment, so I will have to control myself haha. I have a tendency to nibble quite a bit at night, something I'm trying to work on. I should eat enough to not be hungry instead of snacking on handfuls of things. 

I hope you all had a good day too. 

Sending positive energy :)

Uncertainty

The thing about eating intuitively is that there is some uncertainty… not knowing exactly what I've eaten today, or knowing the exchanges I've covered, is pretty scary. But I'm doing it. I'm eating, I'm not counting, I am listening to my body and deciding what to eat based on what tastes good and what I'm craving. I am starting to trust my body. I trust that even if I eat a little more than I need, or even if I eat a little less, my body will even everything out .Eating isn't perfect, it isn't a science, it's natural and changing. I can trust my body knows what to do.

I guess I have a fear… what if my intuitive eating means I'm eating too much? Will my dietician tell me to eat less? She told me she wanted me to have fuller, less "diet like" meals. I was eating very bare bones meals of sandwiches with no spreads or toppings and fruits and vegetables. I've been trying to change that and eat real, substantial meals. For lunch I had a sandwich, but I added avocado. That is more normal than eating just a plain sandwich. It is OK to enjoy your food. I am learning how to enjoy food. Even when I'm not really hungry I know I need to eat, and if I'm going to eat I might as well eat food that tastes good! I never used to want to admit that I liked the taste of food.. but I'll admit is now! I love chocolate and ice cream and sweets. I like some fried foods. I like some candy. And that is ok.

Food today so far:
Breakfast: Blueberry, mango, raspberry bran muffin, Greek yogurt with blueberries, raspberries, and pumpkin seeds, coffee with lots of soy milk

Snack: Strawberries and cream oatmeal with raspberries

Lunch: Avocado and veggie sandwich, a pear, and a handful of carrots

Snack: Homemade chai tea latte and an apple

I'm not counting so I don't know how many calories I've had. I'm hoping it's enough. Tonight at dinner my housemate is making chicken so I will have a vegetarian Chik patty, and I will eat rice or pasta or whatever he makes and veggies. I have been avoiding starches at dinner, but I know I need a complete, balanced meal. So I will eat the pasta or rice and be ok with it. I don't know why I have this fear of carbs, but it needs to stop and the only way to overcome the fear is to face it head on. So that's what I'm doing.

I am eating intuitively, I am doing it!! After 5 years of meal planning I am doing this. I feel strong and confident in my ability to just eat, even though my hunger signals are still out of whack. But I am conquering!!

If I can do it so can you. Go recovery!!!!

Being uncomfortable

Recovery is REALLY uncomfortable. It is not butterflies and rainbows, it is super hard. Recovery is ups and downs, fighting really really hard.

But it's ok. You WILL get through this discomfort. I will get through this discomfort. Just have to keep fighting.

Good Morning!!

Good morning! It's Sunday, my day off to be in pajamas all morning, although I really want to get up and do something haha. Usually I love my rest day but today I'm a bit restless. Anyway, I will be doing another day of intuitive eating and I am so excited!! NO meal plan just eating what I want. Yesterday went reasonably well! I didn't count calories so I don't know how much I ate, but that is ok. I can trust my body. I can.

Breakfast this morning is a bran muffin, Greek yogurt with berries and pumpkin seeds, and coffee with lots of soy milk. I love Trader Joe's bran muffins… they are healthy and delicious.

My sweetener experience was  major success!! This morning I am drinking coffee with soy milk and NO sweetener and it actually tastes good!!! I had a starbucks coffee the other day and it actually tasted sweet again. I am so proud of myself for retraining my taste buds and cutting back on artificial sweeteners. This feels like quite the accomplishment. Coffee with no sweet!! When a few weeks ago I was using over 5 or 6, sometimes 7 or 8 packets of splenda!! No more :) Experiment = success.

I don't know what else to write, haha, other than I hope you all have a lovely Sunday!

Day 1 success

The day isn't over... But I'm proud to say today has been a success!!! I haven't counted calories, I didn't follow a meal plan.. I just ate!!! And I think I did well!! I am so excited for this new chapter of my recovery: eating normally. Wow!! After 5 years of meal planning I'm finally free and it feels amazing!! I am breathing a huge sigh of relief. I will say eating intuitively is scary, but a good scary. The kind of scary where you're uncomfortable but you know you're doing something really brave. I'm doing this. I choose recovery, I choose to live, I choose life!

Tonight we are eating out for dinner at a steakhouse..: not exactly a great environment for vegetarian but I am thinking I'll get a baked potato and veggies on the side. I'll look at the menu. I feel confident I can make a good choice of food.

Recovery is possible. Health is possible. Choose life!!