Ugly does not equal unloveable

I feel ugly. Really ugly. It's not a good feeling. I'm bloated and swollen and my hair needs cut and I just feel like a mess. And In my head I hear "no one could love someone so ugly." It makes me want to cry. Want to curl up in a ball. To purge and restrict. To cut. But I'm not going to do those things. I think everyone feels ugly sometimes. It's how you deal with those feelings that counts.

I had a kitty who died recently. His name was schmutz. And he was a wonderful cat. I loved him to pieces. I found him - actually he found me- on the street outside my grandma's house. He was pitiful. He was a black and white cat but was dirty and looked more brown and yellow. His fur was falling out. He had no teeth so his tongue hung out of his mouth. One of his ears was chopped off. His tail was crooked. He was pretty nasty to look at. But I fell in love with him the minute he sat down in my lap and started to purr. Schmutz was anything but beautiful. But I loved him dearly.
Ugly does NOT equal unloveable.
I see people and animals for what they are on the inside. And I really hope that some day I can see the beauty in me too.
Never stop fighting.