Went to the doctor this morning. Luckily my doctor is a wonderful, kind lady who is really understanding and sensitive. I've had some pretty mean doctors, so I'm really grateful that I have her.
Basically we are not in medical danger but we are getting there. Weight is pretty low, although I can't see it, and we are dehydrated. Getting blood drawn they could barely find a vein. We can hardly stand up without getting dizzy. Just overall feeling exhausted and weak. Which I hate. I want to feel STRONG and empowered, not like I'm going to fall over. Can't walk anywhere right now - we are on complete exercise and movement restriction. And still I'm exhausted.
Hate feeling this way.
So what do we need to do? We need to eat.
End of story.
Eating has gone better today than previous days, although not perfect by any means. Planning to start fresh tomorrow, get on board, get healthy, move forward. It will be uncomfortable, it will be unpleasant, it will be hard but we can do this. Either we eat here, in less structure, or we eat in the hospital. One way or another we need to eat or we will die. Part of me really doesn't care if I die. But part of me wants to fight. And we are going to fight.
Going to have night snack.
Night!
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