I am imperfect

Tonight was a spaghetti dinner. And when dinner came around I froze up. I couldn't get myself to take the pasta. What is wrong with me??? Why do I let my eating disorder win?? It's so frustrating. I want to be strong and I'm not always. I want to be successful and I'm not always. I am imperfect.

But no person is perfect. Everyone messes up, everyone makes mistakes... It's how you handle those mistakes and learn from them. I know for next time that I need to ground and feel more solid before going to an event where the focus is food. I need to make a game plan for serving myself and eating, not just hungrily watching everyone else happily eat their pasta. 

I am imperfect. And that's ok. I am human. I make mistakes. I learn.