Uncomfortable

It's the end of the day and I am UNCOMFORTABLE. I always feel uncomfortable by the end of the day but today it feels worse for some reason. I am really puffy and swollen and it does not feel good at all. Dinner was tasty… but the eating disorder got the best of me and I served myself a huge portion of broccoli and a tiny bit of pasta and I didn't even eat the pasta I served myself :( So basically for dinner I ate broccoli and salad and now guess what… I'M HUNGRY. Really hungry. Dreaming about night snack, can't WAIT to have night snack. Egg white oatmeal with banana and pumpkin spiced pumpkin seeds :) Mmmmmm. I'm excited, counting down the minutes until I am done with meds so I can eat and go to sleep! I always feel better in the morning… I KNOW I will feel better in the morning. Just have to get through these uncomfortable feelings. I am definitely a morning person.

Now I am hanging with a friend doing homework and drinking tea. I have my special hibiscus, chamomile, strawberry leaf tea to help my tummy. It tastes pretty good too. I like adding a little soy milk… makes it creamier.

I can hardly believe I've finished a whole semester of school! I have a track record of dropping out after a few weeks because I'm really sick or suicidal. Not this time! I had a short stint in the hospital, but I bounced back right away and finished the semester up strong! I knew I could do it… I can't believe I did it. So excited to actually have some credits under my belt. And I think I'll be ready for my final… I will be studying all week!

Have a lovely evening, and remember the end of the night blues will pass. Trying to tell myself I WILL feel better in the morning.

Good night <3