Thursday, August 7, 2014

Little things holding me back

There are several little things right now that are holding me back from being fully recovered. It's really annoying. For the most part I am doing really well!!! But just little things are lingering. And I want it to stop.

The first thing is calorie counting. I know I've said I would stop, but the truth is I haven't stopped. I count everything I eat: food is not enjoyable to me, it's a number and that sucks! I want to be able to eat just because I need to and because the food tastes good, not because it has the lowest number of calories. That's no way to live. I'm frustrated that I know the calorie counts to every food. It drives me crazy! I need to stop I just don't know how. My brain is an internal calculator. Sigh.

Second problem is cutting corners, and I'm probably only cutting corners because I am counting calories. If I stopped counting I might not obsess so much and cut things out of my meals. For example at lunch I cut out salad dressing on my salad, and picked a plum which has the lowest calories of all the fruit in the house. I am only having one starch for snack instead of two... It's little things but they do make a difference.

Tomorrow I have my session with my dietician and we are going out to lunch at McDonald's. Ahhhh. I don't know what I am going to order. I used to binge there all be time so I'm very anxious about eating the food and keeping it down. But my dietician is really supportive and I know she'll help me through the lunch.

About to go in to group. Hope everyone is having a good day. :)


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