Make yourself feel good

Some days I wake up and I just can't stand what I see in the mirror. I want to shave off my hair, and pull out my eyebrows, and wash off my freckles, and chop off parts of my body. When I felt like this in the past I would just not eat, or I would purge, or I would cut myself to try and make SOME kind of change to my body, just so I didn't have that horrible feeling of wanting to crawl out of my skin. But I'm not doing those things anymore. I am choosing to do healthy things for my body... that doesn't mean I don't have bad days. I  just handle them differently.

First, I have started wearing a little bit of make up. Not to much, just concealer and blush and sometimes a little mascara (although I cry a lot and don't have waterproof so I only wear it if I know I won't be crying). It makes me feel good about myself... makes me feel pretty. It ups my self esteem a little bit, sometimes just enough to get myself out of a funk and out of the house. It's easy, takes only a couple minutes, and doesn't hurt me in any way. Make up is good on these days.

Second, I wear clothes that make me feel good. And this is tricky because some days one outfit will feel good and the next day it will feel terrible. And often times I start the day in one outfit, and by the middle of the day I feel uncomfortable again and I change. And sometimes I change again... and again... and again... and usually I end up in the same outfit I started with. haha. That happened this afternoon. I'm wearing shorts and a t shirt and I felt like my tummy was poofing out a bit, so I put on a skirt, and then shorts, and a few different shirts but ended up wearing the same t shirt and shorts I started out with. (Silly I know.) But I have to feel good in what I'm wearing, and I have to feel comfortable. None of the other outfits made me feel comfortable, so I changed. And now I'm ok. Wear what makes you feel good. I lived in "play" dresses and leggings for a long time. And that's ok.

Also, turn your thoughts around! Turn your negative body statements into positive affirmations. Tell yourself you are ok just the way you are, that you are a beautiful person on the inside, that you are good at singing or dancing or whatever you're good at.... say it in the mirror. Tell yourself good things. I have trouble with this, but when I DO say nice things to myself I feel better. Try saying nice things. Be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself like you'd treat a friend or family member.

You don't have to be destructive to feel better about yourself. Do little, healthy things and you can feel 100 times better. It's ok to have "down" moments. They will pass and you will feel ok again. Believe me, I have down moments all the time! But I tell myself that in a little while I won't feel that way and that keeps me going.

Keep fighting. Get through the tough spots because the good moments are SO worth it.