Calorie counting

I started off today determined not to count calories. I made it through breakfast, snack, lunch, and snack before calculating, sure that my numbers were sky high. I was surprised to realize that my calories for the day are pretty low. I'm kind of disappointed and confused because I followed my meal exchanges and what was on my meal plan. I'm subconsciously undercutting what I need for my meals: and it's really frustrating. 

I know how much I've eaten, and I guess I'll keep counting. I'll try to bulk up dinner (I'm cooking a frittata and roasted sweet potatoes). I will eat substantial portions and also have my full night snack and I should be ok.

I'm looking at my meal plan to see where I went wrong and I am seeing how I undercut without even thinking. At breakfast I poured only half a cup of soy milk in my coffee instead of a cup. I had only 3/4 cup of yogurt and 1/2 a muffin instead of a whole. My sandwich at lunch did not have any fats and I missed a starch. Snack I only had an iced coffee with some soy milk and part of a mini scone. I need to face the fact I've gotten used to undercutting. And I need to he more aware of what I'm eating and how I'm serving my portions. I need full cups of milk: full portions of yogurt... I need to add the fats to my meal plan and not just pretend they are already in my food. I need more. I need to reach my goal weight so I can lower my meal plan and feel more normal with my eating. Right now I just feel like I'm eating so much... When really I'm not. I am eating enough to maintain my weight but not reach my goal. I need to step up my game.

I keep saying I will do better and I feel as though I'm failing. But I'm learning and I'm fighting. I will get there. I will.