My eating disorder: part 2

My eating disorder, anorexia, developed when I was 11 years old. It started at summer camp. I went away for three weeks and the girls in my cabin were really snobby and mean. My stomach issues flared up and I couldn't keep any food down. So I stopped eating. I lived off bread and salad, and refused to eat anything else, and lost a significant amount of weight. I wasn't consciously losing weight at this point, but I got much thinner. I was just sick of throwing up all the time! I didn't want to be sick, I wanted to be healthy. And I felt that not eating would help me feel better. 

I started 6th grade at a new school, where I met a very smart, witty, and VERY tiny girl. We became friends as we were stand partners in the middle school band. We started hanging out often, eating lunch together at school, going to each others' houses. She wore a size 10 slim in Abercrombie and I was a size 5 in juniors. She called me fat. She teased me about my hips, and for the first time I started feeling REALLY self conscious about my body. I became much more aware of what I was eating. I remember this girl commenting on how much salad dressing I put on my salad, and teasing me about the size of my jeans. She called my fat and chubby and huge. But I wanted to be her friend, so I never defended myself... in fact I believed her. I wanted to wear a 10 slim in girls size clothing. I wanted to be tiny. I became aware of the calories in peanut butter, and salad dressing, and bread. 

I became very aware that I was larger than my friends, and for the first time put together that in order to get thin I would need to stop eating. I was also very aware that my stomach problems were not getting better. I was tired of throwing up constantly, I was tired of being big. So I stopped eating. It wasn't a gradual process, it was an immediate "I am not going to eat anymore." I started eating only fruits and vegetables. I discovered the scale in my parents' bathroom and started sneaking into their bedroom each morning to step on it. I watched as the number dropped, and I ate less and less. I started to see results. My clothes got baggier. My face became gaunt. I started throwing away my lunches at school. 

It was when I was in 7th grade that people started to notice something was wrong. My Spanish teacher, who was also the cheer coach, looked at me one day and said in a very concerned manner, "You look thin. Have you lost weight?" It was the first time someone had been genuinely concerned about my weight. And I didn't know what to think. I obsessed over food. I couldn't eat. I made excuses, said I wasn't hungry. I lived off apples and carrots and diet coke. Even when I almost passed out running in PE, I went to the vending machines and grabbed a diet soda. 

I became completely taken over by disordered thoughts. My grades were excellent. Everything seemed ok. But I was wasting away.