A taste of independence

Well, I'm spending the night in independent housing, and I AM SO EXCITED!! A little taste of freedom is so nice and reminder that I will be fully independent in just 5 days!! At the house I am currently living at there are staff members 24 hours a day. In independent housing there is no staff, just clients, and we do everything ourselves. Staff members come to the house to supervise taking medications, and throughout the day there is one to one support, but other than that I am free!! I can go to bed when I want (after medications) I wake up myself (in time for medication) and the rest of the day is up to me. I will go to school, go to groups, go to Petco and volunteer, and I will be in charge of my life. I will still have lots of therapy and groups, but I will have more freedom. And that makes me feel good.

Six months ago I was terrified at the thought of living alone without supervision. I was so afraid that I would go to bed and not wake up, or that I would wake up with cut marks, or that I would start purging again. Now I feel good. I don't feel like I want to hurt myself or that I don't want to be alive. I don't purge after eating and I haven't had that urge for a few weeks now. I haven't cut myself in months, my parts are safe. I am safe. It's taken a lot of work to get here, but I have made it. A taste of freedom and a taste of recovery. I am so grateful that I decided to turn my life around.

Tonight I will be able to relax after I take my medicine, have my snack and take my time enjoying it, take a shower, and go to bed when I want to. I won't have to deal with staff supervision. I am safe. It's up to me to do what I need to. And I'm ready!

I'm just so excited :) Can you tell?? haha
To new beginnings.