Not having the best day

Today I'm not having the best day. I got my "womanly issues" today for the first time in many months and that's always really scary for me. It brings up a lot of difficult memories and I have a lot of pain :( so hard. But this is my last step to get into independent housing! I will explain why.... My suicide attempt in January was directly related to getting my period for the first time In a few years. It made me have so many memories and so much pain that I overdosed. My treatment team just wants to make sure I can get through my period safely; and then I'm good to go! Exciting I guess: but I just don't feel good right now.

We also have a new house mate who is really out of control. Today she was going on and on about how she hated Lunch and I told her she was being rude.. She didn't take it well. She screamed, threw her plate, and called me a fing b%^ch. I'm trying not to take it personally. But it still hurts. 

I also have a really busy day and I'm tired. I have therapy and then groups for three straight hours. I really want to curl up in a ball but I have to be brave and talk about how I'm doing. I will make a safety plan with my therapist. Glad I am seeing her today (there was a schedule change this week).

I know I'll make it through this. I just feel pretty scared right now and want the day to be over. And I get weighed today. Ugh. Ok I can do this.

Keep fighting friends.