I don't trust my body. I had lunch today and after I ate I was STILL hungry. This just freaks me out! I don't WANT to be hungry. I want to feel satisfied, I want to know that what I'm eating is enough. I feel like I can't trust my hunger cues. I feel like I just can't trust my body.
So I've made a commitment to my dietician not to purge today. I feel very uneasy about this. I want to binge SO badly right now and tonight will be pizza and candy which I am pretty anxious about. Pizza has been a big binge food in the past. And I'm afraid that if I have one piece of candy I won't be able to stop.
But I can do this. I am drinking coffee and I will have my snack in group, and I can do this. I can. I am stronger than my eating disorder. I am bigger than being sick. It doesn't matter that I'm bloated and uncomfortable, I need to push through. As I eat more consistently I won't be so bingy. And I skipped my snack this morning so it makes sense that I'm hungry.
Life goes on. I can do this.
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