Rough encounter

I planned to get together with the new client today. She has similar issues to me and I was scared to see her but wanted to be friendly and kind. I met her and it went horribly. She wouldn't say anything. She sat and stared and wouldn't speak. I freaked out: I got really anxious and switched to a younger part. I thought I had done something or said something wrong. I don't think I said anything wrong. She is just very fragile and very new.

I guess I'm jealous of her in some ways. She is so thin, to the point of having lanugo on her arms. I know I don't want to be sick anymore but hanging around someone who is in such bad shape is really really triggering. I dont want to look like that. I don't want people paying attention to my body like that. But im still very triggered.

We are out to dinner now at a cafe. I'm getting a veggie burger. trying to move forward from my mini freak out about this woman. She is sick. I am healthy. Heslthy is GOOD. I want to be healthy. End of story.