Weighing more

I don't know my weight. I have an idea of what I weigh but I don't know the exact number. I had a certain number in my head of what I was "ok" with weighing. And it's very possible, I'm actually fairly sure, that I weigh more than the "ok" weight. So what do I do with this information? Do I freak out and start restricting again? Do I purge? NO. Because I am not my weight. I am a person.

So what if I have gone over my own idea of what's healthy? So what? Real friends aren't going to judge me based on my weight and my family will care about me no matter what the number on the scale says. As a matter of fact, people feel safer with me when I am at a healthy weight. When I am very thin it almost feels people are afraid to be around me. So I weigh a little more. This is actually a good thing!

What are the benefits of weighing more? That's something I forget to look at sometimes. But there ARE positives!!

First, when or if I get sick this year I wil have enough weight on me not to be in danger. A stomach bug or flu won't put me into a danger zone.

I'm not cold all the time. I have enough insulation that I am not freezing in the middle of summer. I feel warm and comfortable, and that is a lot better than being frozen all the time. 

I look my age. I look like a young woman, not a little girl. I can have positions of authority and actually be taken seriously. I don't look like a pathetic sick girl. I look strong and healthy. And that is uncomfortable but ultimately a good thing. I am a woman and I look it.

There are more positives. I can't think of them right now. I'm just trying to convince myself that my new weight is good. I'm healthy. Healthy is good.