I am here to admit it… I have lost perspective. I no longer am in a healthy mindset. I have fallen off the bandwagon. I am so sad and disappointed in myself. I am not eating right, not keeping things down… I had a terrible night. The antibiotics that I started taking upset my stomach and I was sick all night. I slept on the bathroom floor. I was miserable and woke up weak and tired. But I was determined to keep everything down today.
Well I've failed. I drank only tea all morning, and everything I've eaten since then has been a whirlwind of failure. Soup, peanut butter sandwich, milkshake… I've eaten all the good foods my body needs and I haven't allowed my body to absorb the nutrition :( I feel like such an utter failure.
Things change now. I will eat a snack at 3:00 (in 15 minutes) and then I will eat something for dinner. Ugh. I am starving. I am miserable. I am sick.
Must must MUST get back on track. There is no other option. I NEED to get back on the healthy path. And I know I can do it. I can start eating and keeping it down again. I can can CAN. MUST. I am stronger than this. I am stronger and braver and bigger than my eating disorder.
Anyone have words of wisdom or advice? I really could use it right now :( Anyone out there? I am so lonely and so lost. I am so disappointed in myself. Is anyone out there?
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