It's after dinner and I AM MISERABLE. My stomach is so bloated and I feel so sick. I am disgusted with myself. All I want to do is purge. ALL I WANT TO DO is purge. But I am not going to purge today. Today is going to be a purge free day. 100% I'm all in. This miserable feeling will not last forever. I will feel fine in just a little while. In just a little while I will feel much better. I am not going to purge today.
Today is going to be a success. Yes, my stomach is bloated. YES I want to purge. But I am going to make it through. And I will wake up in the morning feeling better. Tonight I will have my night snack and I will survive. Food is fuel. It is not going to hurt me or make me ugly or worthless. I am worthy. I am worth more than my eating disorder. I will not let it control me.
I have also decided to stop calorie counting. It just isn't helpful. I'm worried that it will be hard not to count… but it can't be as miserable as constant calculating all day. I am heading in the right direction. I can do this.
Root for me!!
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