Supporting friends

I am the kind of person who wants to support my friends no matter what the cost. I've been in a LOT of treatment centers and have made friends along the way. Only a few are still in my life because treatment friends are really hard to keep around. There's risk of relapse and bringing you down, and it's really hard. Because you want to help as much as you can but you don't want to be brought down with that friend. It's so hard. In treatment you bond with your peers over things like trauma and eating disorders and life stories… and then you're out of treatment and that's all you have in common, and it can be… well.. toxic. Sadly.

I have a friend right now who just got out of treatment. This isn't her first round of treatment and I hadn't been in contact with her as several months ago she was struggling and it was bringing me down a little. Well I contacted her a couple weeks ago and she said she was doing really well! We got together and spent the day talking and eating and it was really nice. But the past few days she hasn't been doing well… skipping meals, walking all day, when she's not supposed to exercise, and she's really depressed. I have been texting her to check in, trying to encourage her and give her as much support as I possibly can. But it's really hard. I want to support her, but it makes me question myself. If she's not eating, should I stop eating too? Why does she want to be sicker than me? Questions that are dangerous and comparing and I don't want to go there. I want so badly to help this friend. But I can't put my own health and sanity at risk.

So what do I do?? Do I set boundaries? Do I stop texting and wait for her to contact me? I'm so desperate for friends. I want her in my life. But I don't want to risk my recovery. This is so hard. I think I need to set boundaries for myself. I want so badly for this friend to be doing well. But I can't change that. It's up to her to choose to be healthy. I can't choose that for her. I can remind and encourage her to eat, I can give support, but I can't make her choose the right path. And that makes me sad. But it's the truth.

What to do???