I feel so ugly

I can't deal with being in this body. I am so ugly. I just can't seem to cope today ;( I want to purge. I want to starve. I  am so so ugly. 

When I feel like this it's horrible. I want to crawl out of my body and get into a different one. I'm crawling out of my skin. None of my clothes look right. I look so so heavy and so so ugly. My clothes fit. They just don't fit the same way they did a few months ago. The jeans that were hanging off me now are snug. They still fit. Just not the same :(

I am going to talk to my therapist today. I am feeling very at risk for behaviors. I feel unsettled, my motivation is wavering... Is this worth it?? Is recovery worth it if I'm going to be miserable? Because I feel miserable. So so ugly. 

What do I do to feel better?? How do I be ok with my body? Because right now I'm not ok. I am ugly. Do I just have to live with that??