Food is medicine

When you are recovering from an eating disorder food is medicine. There's no way around it. You simply can't recover from an eating disorder without food... I've gone through periods where I thought I could recover without eating very much. But the truth is that food is to medicine: there's simply no way around it.

I haven't given up. In fact there are a few things I haven't given up.

I haven't given up hoping that I can get better. With enough food and enough hard work and patience I believe I can get Better. Recovering from an eating disorder requires lots of food to repair the damage done by starving or purging or even binging. I believe that if I stick out the uncomfortableness and the miserable days I will come out the other side stronger than ever. I haven't given up fighting: I haven't given up on the idea of a better life, a life where I'm not sick ankore. A life where I can be happy and free. I haven't given up.

There's something else I haven't given up completely and that's control unfortunately. I have found the past several days that I'm lowering and lowering my calories to a point that probably isn't healthy for me. It's not full blown restricting but it's enough to be a problem. Food is medicine and I am just  not taking in all the medicine I need to be healthy. I know it's a matter of control.... I can't control my weight but I'm trying desperately. And this isn't normal. Cslorie counting obsessively is not normal. I need more medicine. I just need more.

I am trying harder than I ever have to be healthy. I am fighting for my life. I have ups and downs and moments of strength and moments of weakness. But overall I am winning. I am NOT giving up. I am a warrior. I am a fighter. And food is my medicine. Plain and simple.

Food is your medicine, so eat eat eat! You CAN get better: we can get better together. Never EVER stop fighting. Warriors unite.