Don't know what to write

I don't know what to write. My life is mundane. I eat I struggle I go to school I battle the monsters in my head. And I write. And I work hard trying to share my life. Sometimes it feels like there's no point. Nobody's reading anyway. Why write??

I do it for me. I get to process my thoughts. I get to share with the world my battle. Even if nobody is reading my story is out there. Maybe I'm silly and naive. Maybe someone I know will find my blog and know my deepest thoughts. Maybe not.

Today I went to school and learned about natural birthing process. It is scary and beautiful. The woman is in so so much pain and then she holds her baby and everything is ok. It's amazing. All the pain that women go through every day. But life is a miracle. 

Eating went better today. I talked to my dietician specifically about my mini "binges" on ice cream. We are going to basically desensitize ice cream by eating it together in a healthy way. I love my dietician. She pushes me just the right amount. Just enough to make me uncomfortable but also enough to feel successful and proud. I am so lucky to have her. I bugged her today about knowing my weight. She said a) it doesn't matter and b)she won't let me get to a higher weigt than I'm comfortable with. I'm starting to be ok with my current weight. I want that to improve.

If anyone is out there.... Keep fighting. This is an uphill battle. But I believe the end will prove to be worth it.