Reaching out for help

I'm feelimg a bit out of sorts.... Not quite feeling myself and having some hard thoughts. Today I had family session and it was really really hard. I won't give any details. I just don't feel right.

I feel like a bad sister. Bad daughter. Bad friend. Bad person. I'm out walking and it's dark and I know that's risky but I don't really care. I know I shouldn't be out in the dark walking... Part of me wants to call my therapist. Part of me doesn't want to be a bother. Part of me knows I should reach out for help. Part if me is scared to be honest. What if my therapist overreacts and gets angry? What if they don't trust me? I think calling might be a good idea. I'm just afraid of what that means... That I'm not ready to be independent? I Am ready. I will be ok. I will power through. I'll get home Safely. I am strong. I am determined: I am brave. 

Pushing through.