Yesterday was hard. And this morning was hard. I had a total sobbing meltdown. I just felt so overwhelmed, and tired, and frustrated. I had made plans with a friend and my treatment program got in the way, and I just was feeling really angry and fed up. I called one of the therapists (who I'm really mad at) and she assured me that she doesn't dislike me like I thought.... she said she likes me and wants me to do well, which is the reason she was so tough on me yesterday in group. She really picked on me and I felt that she was angry with me... she said she was angry but not with me, she was angry at the group for not giving me feedback. I cleared things up with her. She's just a tough therapist to work with.
After petco today I went to the mall and target with a friend. It was nice. We walked around, looked at clothes and cosmetics, and then had lunch at Panera. My food was alright I guess... I had a salad and an apple and a little bit of black bean soup which I didn't really like. I also forgot my snack this morning so I grabbed it when I got home. I will need to add some food to my day I think as lunch was really light.
Trying to push through discomfort. Things just suck some days. That doesn't mean I need to fall apart. I am strong. I am resilient. Things will be better later.
Keep fighting.
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