Reflection

I've been assigned a "reflection"... formerly known as a "dealing process." It's a process that people at Hanbelceya (my treatment center) do when they have done something wrong... it can be anything from slamming a door to using drugs to lying about something... So you're wondering why I have to do a "reflection?" I lied - or rather omitted the truth -  to my therapists. About 4 months ago I was assigned a series of structures, or rules, that I was supposed to do around eating. Doing a though record form, writing a "looking forward to" list and staying out of my bedroom/bathroom for 40 minutes. I did all those things for a couple months. And then I stopped. Which apparently is a big problem.

The therapist who confronted me in our community meeting made it sound like I had murdered someone. That I'd done something horribly wrong, and that I was in danger. I'm not in danger. I am eating better than ever before, not purging, not counting calories... I'm doing everything I'm supposed to to take care of myself. Supposedly the problem is not that I stopped doing my structures, the problem is that I lied to my therapists. So I've been assigned a reflection about the lying part. I have to present my dealing process in a group next week.

It feels really stupid, but I'll do the assignment. I don't want any bad feelings between me and my therapists... I will do what I need to do in order to get their trust back. It just all feels really annoying.

Moving forward.