School

School is hard right now.. it's not that the classes themselves are hard, it's the content that's really hard to deal with. In one of my classes, Child Growth and Development, we are learning about development in the womb and childbirth. And we have to watch videos. And it is really not pretty. Women giving birth is NOT something I enjoy watching. In fact it really disturbs me... I guess women give birth to babies every day and it's a natural process but it just looks SO abnormal. Pushing out a baby sounds like the most painful thing in the world.

In my other class, Child, Family, and Community, we are talking about parenting and child abuse :( We are working on a big project about socialization, talking about our life and how we were socialized as a child. As I go through this project I am faced with the fact that I was very poorly socialized. I never developed a secure attachment to an adult when I was a child, and that left me somewhat socially delayed. And it was many people and many different instances in my life where I was maltreated. It's hard to read about the prevalence of child abuse. It happens every day. It happened to me. Children are small and innocent and unable to defend themselves, and every day adults take advantage of that vulnerability. So sad.

Today has been a good day. This afternoon I went out with my parents and my sister and we painted pottery! We went to a ceramics cafe and painted a platter together and it was really fun. My dad just couldn't get his paint brush steady... my sister cracks me up. But we had a really good time just spending time together as a family. I'm grateful for the progress my family has made, so grateful. We have come a really long way. I can't believe things used to be so bad. Things are finally looking up for us as a family. And that makes me happy.

Back to studying!