Afraid of food

Food is necessary. We need food to survive. Yet I am afraid of food…. how does that make any sense? I'm not afraid of breathing, I'm not afraid of sleeping…. but I'm afraid of food.
My fears go back a very long time, to when i was about 4 years old. I had such bad anxiety that I would frequently get sick to my stomach… First my mom thought I was allergic to milk or lactose intolerant, so I cut out all dairy from my diet. Then I was afraid of other foods because I thought they made me sick. I gradually cut more and more foods out of my diet, including meat, because I was afraid. No little child should fear food. But I did.

As I got older the stomach problems continued and I just became fed up with getting sick all the time. I decided I would stop eating, mostly because I was afraid of food. I didn't develop body image issues until much later. My eating disorder started simply as a fear of food.

I am trying to get over this fear. Every day eating something that challenges me, eating things that I used to like and that I enjoy. It is OK to enjoy food. It is OK for food to taste good! Life would be so boring without good food… I love chocolate and I didn't allow myself to have chocolate for a very long time. Now I enjoy a small piece of chocolate every day AND I enjoy it. I allow myself to have hot chocolate, and even ice cream with my dietician. I am slowly introducing back into my life the foods that I've been afraid of, and it feels good.

If you are afraid of a food, challenge yourself and eat it! Do you really not like the food or are you afraid of it? Be brave and eat that piece of chocolate… have a slice of pizza at a friends house, eat full fat foods, skip the "diet" foods… You can do it. You are STRONGER than the urge to restrict or purge of binge, you don't have to be afraid anymore. We can do this together.