Saying all the wrong things

It occurs to me that I need to start watching what I'm saying. It seems that over the past few days, I have said ALL the wrong things. My therapist brought some of them up to me in therapy, and I felt pretty embarrassed. First, I made a passing comment about two staff members having a "romantic connection." It's a male and female, and they are constantly chatting and flirting and texting, and I just made a joke that they liked each other. I meant it 100% to be a joke! And my housemate took it seriously and brought it up to her therapist. Ugh. I feel so stupid.

The other day one of my housemates graduated from residential housing into independent living, and I made him brownies to celebrate. In passing, my part Polly came out, and said "I don't want to celebrate because I should be moving into housing." I believe Polly said this, but I did not say anything mean to the housemate, I was very kind and excited for him! I expressed how happy and proud I was... I'm not mean like that, I'm really not.

I eat fiber one every day, because the fiber is good for my stomach and I think it tastes good. Well one of the staff members at my house, who is very picky with food, said she was "embarrassed to buy my cereal." She thinks it's old person cereal and is ashamed to arrive with it at the cash register. She says she only eats froot loops, lucky charms, and rice krispies. I brought up, in a joking way, to another staff that she had made the comment about being embarrassed about buying my cereal. This staff member, who I really like and have a good relationship with (we joke around all the time) got into trouble with the house manager :( I feel terrible. I meant to make a joke!! NOT get her in trouble. She confronted me and said we are ok, but I still feel bad.

This morning in the car ride to Petco, I said that we don't get to go out to dinner tonight because the staff member who went shopping "doesn't know how to budget." I meant it as a joke, but the staff member I was with said it was uncalled for. :( I feel horrible! I feel like I should just shut up and say nothing!!!! It seems that EVERYTHING I say is wrong and taken in a bad way, and I feel awful about it. It makes me want to shut down, be quiet again, not defend myself.... just be submissive. I've been that way my whole life, which is why now that I am speaking up, I am uncomfortable with the way my words are being interpreted. Maybe people take me seriously because I've been quiet for so long?? I just don't know.

Don't know what to do... should I shut up and stop talking so much? Should I be ok with peoples' responses to my jokes?
How would YOU handle this? Anyone? I feel so confused.